Halloween Hysteria Hits Heartland!!!!

http://www.wbay.com/Global/story.asp?S=3320841&nav=51s7Zdoh

All right, I've got a question. Exactly how out of control could things possible be in Appleton Wisconsin that the National Guard feels a need to mobilize every Halloween? We aren't talking about some Boschian nightmare in the north woods. It's just Wisconsin, right? A car window soaped, a house tp'd, an outhouse tipped over, etc., right? And yet the citizens apparently live in wretched fear of the apocalypse. Madison has its yearly riot, but they have thousands of drunk students - and it's still treated as a policing matter. And heaven knows that Detroit's infamous Devil's Night is cause for serious alarm; but these apparently pale to insignificance compared to the rapine and slaughter the beleaguered citizens of Appleton must endure. Cowering in there homes and barns while rampaging bands of....what? Cows? Animated cheddar cheese? Cut members of the Green Bay Packers?...Run riot and fill the streets with blood and slaughter. And now, with the transfer of the National Guard to the relative safety of Baghdad, Appleton is left defenseless and alone to face the coming Dark Times of Ruin. It can only be worse in Sheboygan.