Weirdness

Monday, December 05, 2005

the terminal wussiness of D.C.

As I type this, all of our local weathermen are breathlessly announcing the likelihood of snowfall sometime in the next 6+ hours. As is usual with these worthless clowns, estimates as to when and how much are all over the place, with an overall emphasis on the dramatic. Even so, the most wild-eyed amongst them predict no more than 6" starting any minute now (it's almost 1:00). Of course, all of this blather is just so much background noise to me. We may get a blizzard, we may not get anything at all. But whatever we get, it will only match our weathermen's reports through random chance. Those boys, with all their radars and their satellite photos and "accu-weather" drivel are as incapable of predicting ten hours ahead of time as I am.
Nevertheless, in true D.C. fashion, the damage has been done. My commute in was quite a bit longer than usual. Folks were moving at least 10-15mph slower than normal - EVEN THOUGH THERE WERE MERELY PREDICTIONS OF SNOW AND NO ACTUAL PRECIPITATION. As I type this, reports are flooding in of many school districts letting out early this afternoon and cancelling all after-school and evening classes/activities! And this without a single flake falling! I am dreading the ride home - one more needless Boschian nightmare. People are just panicking IN ANTICIPATION of panicking! Sort of a pre-cognitive panic. By now our grocery stores are as naked as a Playboy centerfold. Stripped of every real and perceived need. It'll take days before one once again may purchase milk or bread. And forget about toilet paper - those Sears catalogs will come in handy. I hate this. We've become such a quivering mass of wimps around here. Growing up, we NEVER missed school unless there was snow of Himalayan proportions. Winter weather reports consisted of two classifications - Okey-Dokey, and White Death. Now, we grind to a halt with no more cause than some pretty-boy on TV doing the hi-tech equivalent of reading the entrails of a goat. Pathetic.

1 Comments:

  • He is too funny ... wish him luck on his ride home!

    Matthew Blocher

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:24 PM  

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