My Rock'N'Roll Career - NOT

One of my small regrets in life is that I have next to no musical ability. Oh, I certainly appreciate a good pop song, I might even be able to do a fair analysis of why it’s good or interesting or important. But as for performing – I’m a zero.
And it’s too bad, because I had my career all planned out. It would have been so cool! The first album cover would have me in blue jeans with an old black leather coat meandering through the streets of Old Town on an autumn afternoon. It would be called “The Freewheelin’ Rob Blau”. It would be deep and serious. Next year’s effort would attempt to cash in on the summer teen market. I’d be leaning on a surfboard at the beach surrounded by women in bikinis. “Rob Blau Goes Girl Crazy” would be a #1 record. Then I’d discover drugs and get all mystical, appearing in a Nehru jacket while holding a sitar on my next LP, “The Limits Of Your Mind”. Of course, I’d abuse the drugs, get addicted, alienate my family and friends, screw up the next recording session and leave snippets of songs to be pieced together by the producer and engineer. I’d be on the cover, unshaven, and listless looking, and the critics and public would both blast “Citizen of the Haze”. The record label would drop me after releasing a final collection of concert tracks called “Rob At Budokan”, and I’d go through years of depression and degradation, only to find Jesus and put out an incredibly schmaltzy and self-pitying album entitled “It’s All For Him”. I would refuse to talk about my previous work in the few interviews I was offered and would soon be condemned as a worthless, brain-washed has-been.
But then something would happen and the old creative spark would be rekindled. I’d get a new label and put out a new CD of songs, which would gain some favorable reviews. It’d be entitled, “I Said I’d Be Back, Damnit” and I’d end out my life playing small clubs in Vail and Ann Arbor and an occasional PBS special. Later, Rhino would release a limited edition box set with liner notes by Lenny Kaye entitled “Love Is Blau”. It would’ve been great, if only I had a lick of talent…

(Thanks for the picture, Mike!!!)