Time...
So, I had to go in for some special tests today about one of my eyes. Fortunately, everything ended up being all right. The test technician was a very nice guy. He was a couple years older than me and briefly went over my medical file. There were brief descriptions of what ailments I had, he looked at me and just said, “It gets worse”. I actually appreciate brutal honesty like that. His observation was no surprise to me, it’s just interesting that someone would be so frank, (perhaps it was our closeness in age). I confess I was expecting bad news from the eye tests; that seems to be my stock in trade these days. You see, today is the third anniversary of the death of my father, and I don’t think I’ll ever really get over that, nor expect anything good from this day. And each year seems to gently add to the tally of loss, hassles and complaints, (fear not, I’m not going to bore you by detailing them here).
I came home from the tests to read a neat email from my friend Rick that included the Beloit College Mindset List, which details what today’s college freshmen have grown up with, or not - One more example of the effects of the passage of time. And then sat down to watch the latest mailing from Netflix – a six year old concert by the venerable Moody Blues – another look backwards and reminder of age - and ages gone by.
And so tonight I’m left wondering how one ages. Or, to be more precise, how one should handle it, with what amount of grace, courage, fear, acceptance, denial, energy, and style? Realizing that I lacked most of these qualities in youth, it may be a moot question. And as I ask it, I’m not sure anyone can give me a definitive answer, or at least one I’d totally trust. Like most things, I suspect that “muddling through” will have to suffice. But there is a march of inevitability to this whole process that I really don’t like. Each new year has its own uncomfortable rhythm, as I acquire some new pain or lose some acquaintance or loved one. There is nothing unusual or unnatural about this, but I’ve never been one to accept the status quo lightly.
There’s a wonderful little fantasy story by Lord Dunsany, about an army that seeks to make war against time and the resulting loss. It’s called “In The Land Of Time”*, and sometimes I feel like I’m marching with those armies. It’s not much fun.
*An e-text may be found here: http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext05/tagod10.txt
I came home from the tests to read a neat email from my friend Rick that included the Beloit College Mindset List, which details what today’s college freshmen have grown up with, or not - One more example of the effects of the passage of time. And then sat down to watch the latest mailing from Netflix – a six year old concert by the venerable Moody Blues – another look backwards and reminder of age - and ages gone by.
And so tonight I’m left wondering how one ages. Or, to be more precise, how one should handle it, with what amount of grace, courage, fear, acceptance, denial, energy, and style? Realizing that I lacked most of these qualities in youth, it may be a moot question. And as I ask it, I’m not sure anyone can give me a definitive answer, or at least one I’d totally trust. Like most things, I suspect that “muddling through” will have to suffice. But there is a march of inevitability to this whole process that I really don’t like. Each new year has its own uncomfortable rhythm, as I acquire some new pain or lose some acquaintance or loved one. There is nothing unusual or unnatural about this, but I’ve never been one to accept the status quo lightly.
There’s a wonderful little fantasy story by Lord Dunsany, about an army that seeks to make war against time and the resulting loss. It’s called “In The Land Of Time”*, and sometimes I feel like I’m marching with those armies. It’s not much fun.
*An e-text may be found here: http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext05/tagod10.txt
posted by mendip at
9:49 PM
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