Poisoned Pooch Paranoia

The current dog food holocaust got me to thinking. One bit of fallout from our cicada explosion a few years ago was that we got some rats in the Back 40 here at the Manor. I went down to an exterminator shop in Alexandria and picked up a pound or two of rat poison, and in a week or so the problem was resolved. Imagine my surprise to find that I could have saved time and money by hopping up to 7/11 and just purchasing some puppy chow!
Another thing that I find curious is that this little cocktail of death is found in, at last count, FIVE THOUSAND brands of dog and cat food, (in today's Post there's even a vague hint that it may be in HUMAN food!). Why am I reminded of my cynicism regarding such things as bottled water, military recruiters' promises, and North Korean press releases? I just think that somewhere near a place like De Kalb or Terre Haute there's this huge stadium-sized vat, fed mountains of goo by tractor trailers. After a sufficient amount of mixing, the resulting sludge is siphoned off through spigots the size of fire hydrants, to various canning and labelling lines. It's all the same crap, just different labels put on it. For the driven uber-achiever dog owners, it's called something like "Formula 14"; the New Age-y types get "Puppy Bliss", while the average family dog is fed "Fluffy Snacks with Cheese!". And we get soy burgers and rice cakes. It makes you wonder...