April's Fools in DC

Well, well. I'm told there's actually a "snow advisory" tonight here in Byzantium, (one or two inches - they claim). It just came over the newswire emails to me. It can get cold at night around here in April, but snow is rare, and I wouldn't bet the farm on our weathermen getting this right, (nor much of anything else). But as I sit here, I can already hear the brain cells exploding in everyone's heads around DC. Fairfax County has undoubtedly suspended school for the rest of the year. I'm sure the roads are already some sort of Mad Max nightmare, and Dan Snyder has probably chopped down all the cherry trees at the Tidal Basin to use as kindling in his palace. By nightfall the panic will be in full force. I'm preparing to start shooting anyone who drives or walks by my house as examples - just to deter looters , foragers, and the mutants erupting from the carnage. This town is fucking nuts.