It's tourist season in DC!
http://nooneappreciatesme.blogspot.com/2007/04/im-putting-cherry-blossom-tourists-on.html
I am somewhat calmer than the above, when it comes to visitors to Byzantium. If you do come here, just remember this and you'll be okay:
DON'T GET IN THE WAY. It's that simple.
1. When riding an escalator, ALWAYS keep to the right side, unless you're racing up/down it as fast as all the natives do.
2. The same goes for sidewalks and hallways, leave room for the rest of us to get around you.
3. And don't stand in doorways/entrances - you're blocking the rest of us. Especially the Metro. We are allowed to kill you if you block a Metro door.
4. When driving, do the same thing, do not get in any left lane for any reason unless you are planning on going AT LEAST 20 mph over the posted speed limit. Make that 30 mph when I'm on the road.
5. We all know that the traffic circles in town suck. We know. It was a terrible idea. But if you insist on driving here you've got to have courage, face your fears, and MOVE. Endlessly circling around them at one mile an hour like some sort of wounded nun will not get you anywhere and will simply lead the rest of us to hurl insult and invective on whatever state is listed on your license plates, (I'm talking to YOU, Florida). Get off and keep moving.
Follow these simple suggestions and your stay in DC will be pleasant for you - and us...
I am somewhat calmer than the above, when it comes to visitors to Byzantium. If you do come here, just remember this and you'll be okay:
DON'T GET IN THE WAY. It's that simple.
1. When riding an escalator, ALWAYS keep to the right side, unless you're racing up/down it as fast as all the natives do.
2. The same goes for sidewalks and hallways, leave room for the rest of us to get around you.
3. And don't stand in doorways/entrances - you're blocking the rest of us. Especially the Metro. We are allowed to kill you if you block a Metro door.
4. When driving, do the same thing, do not get in any left lane for any reason unless you are planning on going AT LEAST 20 mph over the posted speed limit. Make that 30 mph when I'm on the road.
5. We all know that the traffic circles in town suck. We know. It was a terrible idea. But if you insist on driving here you've got to have courage, face your fears, and MOVE. Endlessly circling around them at one mile an hour like some sort of wounded nun will not get you anywhere and will simply lead the rest of us to hurl insult and invective on whatever state is listed on your license plates, (I'm talking to YOU, Florida). Get off and keep moving.
Follow these simple suggestions and your stay in DC will be pleasant for you - and us...
posted by mendip at
5:32 PM
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