Mars Attacks!

My cousin Lee had just informed me that on August 27th, the planet Mars will approach to within 34,649,589 miles of Earth - the closest in centuries. Lee, poor innocent that he is, was enthusiastic about this event, but I know better....
According to that imminent authority, H. G. Wells, this is exactly the moment that those dastardly Martians will choose to attack, unleashing their mighty armada of death upon the Earth. But those of us "in the know" are ready for them. I have a whole room of aluminum foil caps, and enough guns, bourbon, and ammunition to make the bombing of Dresden look like a marshmallow roast. I am leaving immediately for Grover's Mill, NJ. and, as a secret weapon, am travelling all the way with my feet immersed in ice water, with the car air conditioning set to full blast. I will personally infect every one of those bastards with a cold virus, if it's the last thing I do. This time, we're ready....

For more of the true story, I refer you here. You have been warned.

((Actually this may be false: http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_mars_encounter.htm. What the hell, I've always wanted to see Grover's Mill, and you can't be too careful about these martian invasion things....))




(and a big thanks to Lee for alerting me to our impending doom!)