The Calm Before The Storm...
It's been a very nice weekend here at the Manor. Both today and yesterday we've maintained a roaring fire* in the fireplace and sat in front of it reading, catching up with paperwork, etc. As predicted, the mild weather that we've experienced off and on for the past couple of weeks was just a cruel ruse by the gods and is supposed to end as our weathermen breathlessly predict a snowstorm that will blot out all life on earth. It is to hit tonight - we'll see. As you probably know, I hold our so-called meteorologists just above that of the diviners who read the entrails of goats, and somewhat lower than a good tarot card reader.
But if it snows, we are ready and well stocked, with enough food, whiskey, books and films to keep us well occupied until the Spring thaw.
Speaking of warm climates, I've a favor to ask folks. There's a job opening for caretakers of a tropical island that my friends Nick and Alexandra are applying for. Apparently, one must compete for what is described as the best job on earth, through a video contest. Their entry is found here: http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/applicants/watch/sCfAzLHk8zI . I'd encourage you to go out, view the video and rate/vote for it. It'll be a wonderful opportunity for them, and it will build up huge Karmic points for you, dear reader, (Which you desperately need -Remember, I know most of you and what you're guilty of...). I am hoping that they win and invite me there, where I can finally answer that age-old question of whether or not one can really install laser beams on sharks and rule the world.
*For those of you who've never been to the Manor in Winter, our fires are Legend. You know that point in a blast furnace where the orange, black and white blend into a hellish inferno? Well, that's just a starting point for me. My fires heat up the whole home - next door. You can forge mithril in my fires. US Steel would kill to get their furnaces as hot as I do. The mere mention of my name can cause members of the Krupp family to lapse into nervous hysteria. Lucifer, (a frequent guest...), sweats at my house. You can get a full body tan just walking by - on the street. One doesn't feed the fire in the traditional manner, you just can't get close enough to place anything inside the fireplace. You have to stand back 20 feet and try to toss logs into it. Accuracy is unimportant however, as anything getting within ten feet instantly combusts due to the intense heat.
The last fire usually occurs in mid March, and by early July the brickwork has cooled enough to allow cleaning. It's always fun to field questions from the chimney sweeps regarding the liquid pool of goo that used to be the grate and the flue...
But if it snows, we are ready and well stocked, with enough food, whiskey, books and films to keep us well occupied until the Spring thaw.
Speaking of warm climates, I've a favor to ask folks. There's a job opening for caretakers of a tropical island that my friends Nick and Alexandra are applying for. Apparently, one must compete for what is described as the best job on earth, through a video contest. Their entry is found here: http://www.islandreefjob.com/#/applicants/watch/sCfAzLHk8zI . I'd encourage you to go out, view the video and rate/vote for it. It'll be a wonderful opportunity for them, and it will build up huge Karmic points for you, dear reader, (Which you desperately need -Remember, I know most of you and what you're guilty of...). I am hoping that they win and invite me there, where I can finally answer that age-old question of whether or not one can really install laser beams on sharks and rule the world.
*For those of you who've never been to the Manor in Winter, our fires are Legend. You know that point in a blast furnace where the orange, black and white blend into a hellish inferno? Well, that's just a starting point for me. My fires heat up the whole home - next door. You can forge mithril in my fires. US Steel would kill to get their furnaces as hot as I do. The mere mention of my name can cause members of the Krupp family to lapse into nervous hysteria. Lucifer, (a frequent guest...), sweats at my house. You can get a full body tan just walking by - on the street. One doesn't feed the fire in the traditional manner, you just can't get close enough to place anything inside the fireplace. You have to stand back 20 feet and try to toss logs into it. Accuracy is unimportant however, as anything getting within ten feet instantly combusts due to the intense heat.
The last fire usually occurs in mid March, and by early July the brickwork has cooled enough to allow cleaning. It's always fun to field questions from the chimney sweeps regarding the liquid pool of goo that used to be the grate and the flue...
posted by mendip at
2:41 PM
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