The Onion, Scrabble, And My Marriage

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/jilted_hasbro_ceo_laughs_coldly_as

As usual, The Onion is brilliant. Despite being a TRUE GAMESMAN of the first order, I stink at Scrabble, Chess, and most embarrassingly, Go. And Linda and I used to play Scrabble when first married, and she'd massacre me EVERY SINGLE TIME. She'd get triple point spreads on things like Xinjanthropus, Xenophobia, and Zoophagus, while I'd be laboring mightily to get "the" and "or". Vowels were rarer than hen's teeth when I'd get tiles, I can tell you. And most of my game scores could be counted with the use of no more than two hands. I still bare the emotional scars. We've not played in about twenty years, and I directly attribute the health of our marriage to that simple effort.