Weirdness

Saturday, September 05, 2009

A wonderful GPS story

http://thebloggess.com/?p=3817

I love this little exchange, and can identify with large portions of it. Now, on the one hand, I rarely get lost - if I have a good map, (I am VERY good with maps, if I do say so myself). And in and around Nova I rarely need to use them at all. But I am like this poor lady writing in her blog in several respects. First of all, because I grew up around here, (and because of the way my warped little mind works), I go over directions in my head based on landmarks and experiences - not street names*. This becomes a real problem when someone else asks me for directions. It can be a little embarrassing, as I've had to say that I could take them there, but can't give them a good description of how to do so themselves.

Now with old timers like my brother or my friend Edmund it's quite easy - "go into Arlington until you get to where Wally's Aquarium shop used to be (1966) and then head like you're going to the old La Casita (1974) and go east till you pass by where Dad bought the '65 black Oldsmobile (1967). Clearly, this is of minimal help to the rest of you.

And I agree with her about the GPS, and any other "talking" machine. I hate that. Absolutely hate it. I grew up reading Magnus, and I'll be god damned if I'm going to let any stupid machine order me around. I hate the whole idea of giving alleged human qualities to things I consider nothing more than souped up bread toasters. And so, here I am, with a stack of maps. But at least I don't have to put up with some HAL wannabe...

*When it comes to driving in and around DC, I must bow to my old friend Cliff as The Master. Riding with Cliff around here is Magellanic experience. Even to old denizens of the area, it's like Star Trek - going where no man has gone before. One time Linda and I were privileged to be riding with him home from a concert at the Cap Center. We took a "short cut" through the District, and went down roads that no human being has seen since Pierre L'Enfant plotted them. We are talking alleys off of alleys. At one point I swear we used some guy's driveway. It was amazing, and I strongly suspect some occult influence was present. If I were to somehow try to retrace that route, I'm sure that neither I nor anyone else would be able to. Where once was free passage would be blocked by a wall - centuries old, routes that were open to us that night would be seen in the light of day to be solid blocks of buildings. Cliff is a man to be reckoned with....

1 Comments:

  • The occult influence was Beverly Ice. I delivered ice for them for awhile in college, driving the truck to remote and obscure liquor stores in DC. Cliff

    By Anonymous Cliff Fairweather, at 8:18 PM  

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